Conversing with a group of online friends, an interesting topic came up regarding women pleasing their mate. The subject was somewhat offensive to me at first, but then the comment was broken down by other men who understood. We were discussing how a woman should please a man to keep him further intrigued so that he doesn’t step outside of the relationship with the other woman or multiple women. A comment was made that women need to have more “ugly girl sex” to keep their man at home. Are you as offended as any other beautiful-at-heart woman would be?
But thinking about that term in a more positive light provides a clearer understanding of a relationship-driven marriage or committed relationship. The statement implies that only “ugly women” have good sex because they are grateful that any man wants them, so they perform certain duties or do whatever it takes to please their partner. Well, that’s offensive to any woman, whether she has a distorted appearance or is a supermodel or just an average-looking woman. It touches a very sensitive area for some women with low self-esteem. But let’s set aside egos and esteem for a moment, to look at the idea from a male’s perspective.
I asked my spouse in the middle of that conversation what he thought of “ugly girl sex” theory. His words shocked me as he agreed with the males in the online chat room. Apparently to certain men, “ugly girl sex” has nothing to do with appearance. To them, it is the art of pleasing your mate emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually in ways that no other woman would. Most men are more physical when it comes to sex, while women are mentally connected. When you compromise and bring these two aspects together, you can agree to disagree to have an amazing relationship that focuses on the other person. That means you set aside your ego and pride as well as your partner, and you both come to a resolution where two souls connect and get along. Compromising hurts those who are still wrapped up in themselves, but if you want something from your mate, try giving that same thing to them instead. Practice makes perfect. If they see your behavior, they may in return, mimic that behavior as well. For example, if she wants conversation and you want foreplay, try giving the other their demands. You may not be in the mood to talk, but you never know how listening to your mate can go a long way when you get the foreplay you asked for. The goal is to come together and learn to become one (Genesis 2:24), so that you are not tempted to cheat or step outside of your relationship with another man or another woman.