How Can I Save My Marriage?

A Six-Step Approach to Saving Your Marriage

If you have been asking yourself "how can I save my marriage" then you need to pay attention to the principles described here. Of course there is some confusion about your current situation. Naturally, this may cause you to react negatively. Avoid this temptation. To answer the question of “how can I save my marriage,” there are six steps that should prove to be very helpful.

It takes a certain amount of courage, patience and fortitude to save a troubled marriage. It’s also going to take a lot of love.

Nevertheless, a marriage with issues and complications can’t be healed simply with love. You need to be aware that the pain of a damaged relationship requires plenty of work to heal. Remember that honesty and cooperation go a long way to making a marriage function properly once again.

In your quest to avoid divorce, carefully consider each of the following.

1. When issues arise, try to put yourself in your spouse’s position before reacting. Take time to look at points of view other than your own. Is it really important to argue about some dirty dishes after breakfast, or can you consider how it might be your spouse’s busy schedule and that it is not about you? Or, if your spouse is late for dinner frequently, consider that those extra hours at work might be because he is trying to provide more economic stability for the family.

2. How can I save my marriage, you ask? One solution is to stop the blame game. Marriage is a two-party arrangement and everything that happens is the result of input from both of the partners. Before you hurl the blame at your spouse, consider your own culpability in the current situation. If you take a different approach, you can avoid injecting more discord into an already troubled relationship.

3. Take care of your own issues. Far too often, individuals will unreasonably project their shortcomings onto their spouses. If you have some problems that are separate from your relationship, get some professional help. Don’t take out your personal frustrations on your spouse.

4. Don’t hesitate to say “thank you” more often. Give more consideration to the positive things your spouse does than to the negative ones. When you feel the urge to criticize your spouse, come up with at least two things you should thank them for within an hour. When your are wrong, admit it and say "I’m sorry."

5. How else can you help save your marriage? Try to make your spouse’s life easier in whatever way you can. People have a lot of pressure on them nowadays. Allow your partner to relax occasionally, by handling some issues that free up time for her (him). This lets your partner know how much you care.

6. Strengthen your bond at every opportunity. Identify activities and interests that the two of you have in common. Participating in activities together to build your bond will help you get through rocky stages in your relationship. One good way to do this is for the two of you to take a vacation alone. It could be a trip to Kuala Lumpur, or to Barbados, or maybe just a weekend in a tent at a local campground. Just being together can start strengthening your bond.

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