Updated Jan, 2016.
Why Do Otherwise Happy Couples Cheat?
In this TED talk, best-selling author Esther Perel (“Mating in Captivity“), discusses the concept of marriage, infidelity and how the romantic ideals trap people into a web of unrealistic expectations that exacerbates the violations caused by infidelity.
Infidelity in the digital age, she says: “…death by 1000 cuts.
“If we can divorce [so easily in 21st century], why do we [still] have affairs?”
Novelty, freedom, autonomy, sexual intensity.
Away from whom are we turning when we have an affair? Our spouses or whom we have become? The author notes that some affairs are “an attempt to beat back deadness, and an antidote to death.”
If you can’t wait to learn how to heal from an affair — if it is possible at all — skip to 14:57; then, go back and watch from the beginning. The talk is 21:30 long.
Rating: PG Audiences
Loving and Cheating
This is a documentary on cheating that was done in 2005. Several couples — married, engaged, dating and single — were interviewed about topics of cheating, being cheated on, marriage, monogamy (non-monogamy), open marriage, and swinging. Their own sexual histories and attitudes were examined. Some of the conversation is really wild. This is NOT a boring documentary.
The full video is 1 hour and 14 minutes. There is no nudity and no sexual activity is depicted; however, this is clearly for mature audiences. Adult language is used liberally and is not edited out of the production.
Viewers may require a Hulu membership, and you may be required to be logged in to watch. This is well worth watching for anyone interested in the topic of infidelity. If it is not available for streaming on Hulu at the time you read this, a link to the DVD on Amazon is included at the end of this review.
Rating: MA – Mature Audiences
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Costs of Adultery
We always need to be willing to pay the costs associated with the decisions we make. It could be our privacy and personal data security, our professional reputation and career, our physical safety, sometimes, maybe all of these.
An adulterer’s family will have their own stories about the costs they have to pay for his/her decisions.