Thinking about crossing that threshold between right and wrong? From a philosophical utilitarian point of view, you may think that having an affair could be for the greater good. Perhaps you are unhappy in your marriage and you’re on bad terms with your spouse. You’ve spiraled down into an abyss of dislike and contempt. Both families aren’t agreeing on any issues regarding the unity of your marriage. Your children aren’t respecting your authority. You’re in a position where you have to choose between your marriage and another man or woman who makes you forget the current problems at home. In your mind because things are going wrong and nothing is as you planned when you walked down the aisle, the best thing for everyone is to end your marriage or have an affair which may start the divorce process. Your mistress or new male significant other makes you feel alive and appreciates you for who you are. So why not take your relationship with them to another level. This level you’re on with your wife or husband isn’t working anyway, right? But is this the best solution for all involved?
What you do can affect others…
The first person to be affected by your decision, whether now or in the future is your spouse. He or she will have a hard time trusting anything you say or do, and an even more difficult time trusting you even if you are with them throughout the day. You may notice them checking your email and cellular phone text messages more often. They may even follow you or have spy cameras set up to see your daily activity to make sure you aren’t with the other woman or the other man. He or she may have discovered ways to hack into your email account and read messages or check your telephone call log to see with whom you’re speaking so frequently.
The second person to be affected by your decision to have an affair is the other woman or the other man. They have entered a bond with you that may not end with “I’m not going to call you anymore.” You may run into an individual who doesn’t want to take the rejection or is not easily accepting that you want to remain in a relationship with your spouse. You may even develop feelings for the other woman or the other man, and become confused as to whom you should be with, so you string both your spouse and that other person through emotional discord until you make a decision. That may backfire as the other person may not want to play second fiddle…and your spouse may decide they don’t want to share until you “get it together.”
The third group affected by your infidelity is the bond you created with people other than your spouse. These outsiders include family members, your children, your friends, and even church congregation. Family members and your closest friends can understand your situation, and they can also be judgmental of your actions. Your children may not know who to depend on. If you’ve broken mom or dad’s trust, how can they trust you? If you are in a position of leadership at your local church , or even a congregational member, you open the door to other Christians straying from Christ or non-believers deciding not to develop a relationship with God because of your actions. They may conclude that there’s no need to get closer to God if even the most holy of holy Christians are having affairs and breaking the bond of their marriage.
God forgives you if you’ve made that mistake or are about to make a mistake of having an affair. People aren’t so easily forgiving, but you have to make sure you find a way out of a serious predicament BEFORE you get involved in it. Ask God for a way out.