So you have determined that your wife wants to leave. Maybe she told you this yourself; maybe it’s just a suspicion. Perhaps you have been spying on her, reading her email when she’s out shopping or looking at her text messages when she’s in the shower [not cool]. You may be solely responsible for this breakdown of your marriage. Did she see you flirting with your coworker — the one that looks just like Amanda Righetti — at the company picnic? Do you drink a little too much or do you subject her and your children to a variety of other negative behaviors? OK, and what about all of those pictures of naked women on your computer!?
If you don’t have any such issues, you might be convinced that the breakdown is her fault.
Marriage Busting Behaviors
On Page 51 of her excellent book, Keep Your Marriage, Nancy Wasson describes the 21 Marriage Busters that push a marriage to the edge of destruction. Chances are, you are already committing some of these offenses. If you’re right about her plans to leave, and if you are to have any chance at all of preventing it, you need to know each of these marriage busters and then do everything you can to avoid every one of them as you try to get your wife to reconsider.
In the same chapter, Dr. Wasson describes a situation between a former client, Jack [we suspect that this is not his real name], and his wife. Jack’s wife reacts really badly when he suggests a trial separation. Whatever you do, do not respond like Jack’s wife or you will have little or no chance of keeping your wife from leaving.
In this eCounseling video, Lysa Terkeurst talks about a conversation she had with a woman she describes as a “dear friend” of hers who was intent on leaving her husband to find a man whom she will have as a soul mate. Lysa is a Christian counselor; but her words are relevant to those of all faiths.
Please comment below or respond to another person’s question or comment. It may be very helpful to them at a difficult time.