Serenity…Now or Later


This Christmas was a very fortunate time for my children and my spouse. Santa was good to all of my children to get them exactly what they asked for on their list. Ipods, mp3 players, and Nintendo DSI’s were a few of the items on the list this year. The most fortunate gift given to any woman is having a faithful husband and healthy children. My spouse didn’t like the idea of dressing up in a Santa Suit…

 …as I suggested so that the children could take a sneak peek downstairs at “Mr. C” bringing them their well-deserved gifts for 2010. I recalled memorable events of 2010 where both me and my spouse were nice to each other in front of the children. These are the moments I want my children to cherish. Mother and father arguing about trivial and even extremely sensitive marital issues should not be done in front of the children. Some of us cannot say that we have abode by these rules so that our children experienced a healthy, happy relationship with both mom and dad. This is not to say that if you argue in front of your children, you are a bad parent. But it is helpful for their self-esteem and their positive outlook on their own future marriages and relationships, if their parents remained positive in front of them and showed them how to handle conflict without being bitter, resentful, vengeful, and evil towards one another.

Perhaps this year, my spouse and I may have neglected to follow these rules for 2010. But as long as we both wake up, there is hope for us yet. 2011 resolutions are upon us. Five days to a new year. You don’t have to wait five days to start your life over with your mate or even for yourself if you feel that you are the one who needs to improve. It doesn’t matter who decides to get the help needed in the marriage or relationship. What is important is that someone step up to change themselves. Perhaps the serenity prayer at this point seems to be an overused cliché. However, it is important to understand its meaning if you are at a crucial point in your relationship where you want change. “God grant me the serenity  to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

You cannot change anyone (ask for serenity), but you can change yourself (courage) and how you handle yourself (self-control) and how you deal with what others do to you (wisdom).

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