The year was 2009. We’d only been married three months. We had petty arguments argued everyday, and I had grown more depressed and discontent with our relationship. When I’d walk in the house, I wouldn’t speak. I’d put my bags down, grab something to eat from the fridge, and head upstairs for the rest of the night without ONE word spoken to my spouse. This brought so much more tension to our relationship when we actually did have to speak to one another concerning the children, bills, or work. The more I pulled away from him, the more he clung to the other woman. I discovered text messages and emails with plans to consummate their relationship. However, in my mind, I decided to punish him for his act of emotional cheating and lying by “not speaking to him at all.” That punishment not only led to the actual act of infidelity, it sealed our fate of divorce. He left. She planned to relocate herself and her children…to live with MY SPOUSE!
While in transition to begin their life together, my spouse had chosen to stay at his mother’s home until his “new woman” moved. This was a painful time for me and for the kids. I cried, I begged, and I prayed for a change. Spiritual guidance helped me through that ordeal, and my spouse soon returned home.
Marriages have issues and daily battles to fight. However, I learned which battles were more pressing to fight than others. You have to ask yourself, “Is this argument over this small issue going to be a concern for me three months or one year from now?” If it isn’t, then let it go. Move forward and focus on the future of a better relationship. Do not worry about past mistakes. Forgive and forget, but if you’ve been hurt, don’t let it happen again. My marriage has gotten stronger with self-help marriage books and prayer.