Ladies, are you at that point in your affair? Has your “affair” given you an ultimatum to either choose him or your spouse/boyfriend? Gentleman has she told you to pick her or your wife or she’s gone? Loneliness, fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt may have your mind boggled, so you decide that it’s best to have both until one or the other makes a mistake or “they show you” who’s worthy enough to be with you. There may be countless excuses why you’re having an affair. But each excuse is not solving your ultimate problem: whom shall you choose?
Now you have to decide who “does it” for you. Who is the person with whom you see yourself flourishing with, spending the rest of your life with, committed to, and waking up to during good days or bad days? (Gentleman, when you want to hold her and comfort her through her stresses and pain, but she’s unfortunately lying in the arms of another man—her husband or boyfriend—you may feel stifled and unable to control the situation. Ladies, it is also no fun being second place. Unless he’s a Christian and he’s put God before you, it is no fun being “the other woman”. )
“Does he do it?” Now, I’m referring to the lyrics to Trey Songz, track #4 from his album entitled Ready (2009). Mr. Neverson begins by stating: It’s just me and you tonight and I’m at the point where I don’t ever wanna share you ever again.
As a married woman, I’ve gone through this dilemma myself. My spouse has also had to make these decisions. My dilemma stemmed from being hurt so many times by his infidelity. He justified his actions by saying that text messages and telephone calls aren’t cheating. It’s only cheating if he actually had sex. Well, a year after he kept stating he would never cheat on me…he finally crossed that line. It’s been two years since we’ve had to deal with any issues of the other woman. I look at our relationship now and am blessed that we have a stronger connection. There are many self help books, magazines, and excerpts you can read to help with your situation, but if you and your significant other don’t have the ultimate goal to change your relationship—it won’t change. We are stronger now because of the spiritual connection we are sharing (prayer, attending church, etc).
So while you’re sitting there contemplating whether to send that text message or click the submit button to that email and tell “the other man” or “the other woman” when, where, and what time you will meet them for a rendezvous…remember this: What’s done in the dark always comes to the light.