What happens to your relationship when you decide to withhold the truth, deceive your mate, or outright lie to them about your affair? Most likely, there is nothing pleasant about that situation when the dishonesty continues to a point where your mate no longer trusts the words you speak. My spouse, years ago, could not understand why I wouldn’t trust him after I found out about his mistress. It is not simply that your vow to love me for better or worse was broken by lust for another woman. It is your word that was broken to protect me, my children, and our future. How can I trust that you will provide for me financially and spiritually when you’ve betrayed me emotionally, physically and mentally by being with another woman?
Any small part of a lie, even if you are covering up or withholding the truth, is still in fact a lie. When you allow others into your marriage to help you deceive your mate, you in fact break a bond that your mate may have with those people, such as family members or friends who cover for your indiscretion.
We all may have told that one little white lie to protect our mate’s feelings, but there is nothing more emotionally painful than the betrayal of your word, especially as it relates to an extramarital affair. Slang terminology indicates that your word is bond, and this is true. Your word to protect your mate, to love your mate, to even “like” your mate is bonded when you enter into the institution of marriage.
For non-Christians or those who think infidelity is okay, there is nothing wrong with cheating, hiding, lying, or deceiving. But that is not necessarily true for the victim. John 8:32 advises us “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” When you withhold any part of that truth from your mate, you tell them you want them in bondage and to be held hostage to infidelity, deceit, lies, and pain. If you are not going to be faithful, the best thing you can do for your mate is to allow them the decency, respect and courtesy of being free…from lies and from your infidelity.