STOP!  Have you arranged a secret meeting with an old fling or a new affair to get back at your husband or boyfriend for cheating on you?  Before you book your flight, confirm hotel reservations, or pay for that rental car, think about what you are about to do.  This decision could affect you for the rest of your life.  Ladies if your husband or boyfriend has cheated on you, you may have decided to cheat as well.  You may throw a pity party or justify your actions by recalling the instances of mistreatment:

His cell phone goes off constantly in the middle of the night, and he doesn’t allow you to see the messages or call log.  He stays out later than normal after he’s gotten off work.  He has unexpected “work-related” trips that require him to be secluded and unable to contact you.  He’s told you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship or marriage with you and wants more space. 

If you want your marriage or relationship to work, then the cliché “two wrongs don’t make a right” should play in the back of your mind.  Emotional factors have so far led up to the decision you are about to make:

  • Anxiety or stress
  • Disappointment
  • Neglect
  • Mistrust
  • No communication
  • No passion
  • No forgiveness

Once he’s cheated on you, it is sometimes difficult to bounce back to a healthy relationship with him or if you’ve broken up, it may be hard to trust the next person.  It is okay to feel the way you feel right now because it is healthy anger that is not yet self-destructive.  However, you must look at your relationship from a different perspective instead of as a victim.  This act of infidelity did not happen to you because you did something wrong or because you did not meet someone else’s expectations.  He cheated on you with the other woman because he wanted to.  Don’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions. 

 Before you decide to cheat on him as a vengeful way to take away your pain, try one more technique.  Forgive him.  Then forgive yourself for stooping to his level by playing the “get back game.”  If you intend to work on your marriage or relationship, your significant other will make mistakes.  You have to forgive him  for each mistake to release your heart from further stress, pain, anxiety, etc.  Once you let go, you open the door to peace and happiness.  That is not to say you forget what was done to you.  You just have to be cautious to make sure that the affair doesn’t occur again. 

 If you’re not going to stick with your marriage, the same rule applies.  Forgive your soon-to-be Ex for cheating on you, so that you are able to move on to a better relationship.  Don’t bring old pain and baggage to a new relationship.  Whether you realize it or not, if you don’t forgive the person who hurts you, you are holding yourself and your new partner hostage.  They are going to be under the radar and you won’t build the trust you need to allow that new relationship to prosper.  The best solution is to move on emotionally and love yourself enough to not make the same mistake your partner made.  This is the time to depend on a spiritual and divine intervention.  This is not your personal battle to fight, however, you will win by learning to forgive and let go of the hurt.

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