When is Cybersex Cheating?
Technology is changing the ways affairs are started and conducted. Moreover, it’s no longer quite so easy to define what an affair is. Many people feel that online sexual liaisons don’t constitute infidelity because there’s no physical contact involved. However, others see it a little differently.
While the internet provides opportunities that rarely present themselves in the real world, the reasons people cheat online are the same reasons they cheat in the real world. Lack of excitement in their current relationship, feeling neglected by their partner, or wanting to experiment in the bedroom are a few of the reasons people stray. And the ubiquity of the internet has given these people countless opportunities to cheat. Not only that, but the anonymity provided by this form of communication means that they can now feel fairly confident they won’t get caught doing so.
In order to determine whether cybersex is cheating, it’s necessary to define what cybersex is. To this end, perhaps the most important aspect of this definition process is what you and your partner have agreed in respect of this issue. However, that’s not as easy as it sounds. It’s difficult to know what the boundaries are where cybersex is concerned because very few people want to broach the subject of cheating online in case it raises suspicions in a partner’s mind. Unfortunately, for many couples, they don’t get to have this conversation until it’s too late, often after the discovery of a partner’s cyber-infidelity (which, of course, that partner regarded as harmless and completely unconnected to his or her relationship). It therefore pays to know what’s acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to relationships online. For example, if your partner knows that you love to flirt and accepts it as part of your nature, you’re probably fairly safe engaging in a little mild virtual flirting. However, for many people, what starts off as a bit of harmless fun often leads to a full-blown affair, one that does involve physical contact and leaves few people needing time to contemplate its definition!
Some aspects of life online are accepted by couples and rarely need discussing. For example, many women – and men – accept that their partner views pornography on the internet and this causes no problems. While some couples prefer to keep their viewing a solo activity, others share their habits and use pornography in their sexual relationship. For most couples, viewing pornography online poses no problems unless it leads to something that they can’t accept or ignore.
For anyone unsure whether what they’re doing online constitutes cheating, they should consider the word cheating, which is defined as deceiving. If cybersex involves deceiving a partner, then it could be argued that, yes, it is cheating. Another way of looking at the issue is to consider whether what you’re doing online is something that you would be content to do within the presence of your partner. The answer should tell you what perhaps you already know.