Him: She is a good woman, but she doesn’t forget anything I’ve done wrong.
Pastor: What did you do wrong?
Him: I had an affair, and now she’s not intimate with me at all.
Pastor: That explains why she hasn’t forgotten anything. A woman won’t ever forget, but it is her choice to forgive you.
Her: It is hard to forget that affair, and this is why I can’t be intimate at times with him.
Pastor: What makes you say that?
Her: Because he still finds ways to reach out to her every chance he gets.
Him: I stopped trying to talk to her months ago.
Her: After you got caught… and even then, I pretended I didn’t know for a while to watch how you behaved. For weeks you acted as if our relationship was good, but I knew it was false. You were sneaking with her again.
Pastor: How did you find out?
Her: His phone had gotten broken one day, and since our phone plans are linked together, I had to contact our service provider and troubleshoot his phone with the representative. I found conversations of the two of them speaking the same day he broke his phone. But before then, I found email correspondence. They created secret emails months ago to stay in touch.
Pastor: Do you think it is wise to continue that kind of relationship with the other woman, knowing that your wife is trying to make your relationship work?
Him: She’s always playing detective as if she’s catching a cheater.
Pastor: You’re conversing and communicating with your mistress, so she did catch a cheater.
Him: Y’all can’t gang up on me. I made a mistake, and I said I was sorry.
Pastor: Were you truly sorry for your mistake or were you sorry you had gotten caught? Because honestly, when we sin, and we ask for forgiveness of our sin, we are hoping that God wipes the slate clean. We repent of that sin with a fresh mindset that we will no longer live that ungodly life. Did you repent? Or did you say a quick “get me out of this” prayer? Continuing the relationship is one reason that your wife isn’t intimate with you. Her heart isn’t yet healed and you keep bringing the other woman back into existence.
Him: I don’t know. I just want her to move on from this and go back to loving me the same way.
Her: It’s not that easy to do. You pick and choose when you want to work this out. There’s no communication in our relationship. We can’t talk until you’re ready or unless you’ve gotten caught.
Pastor: Here’s homework assignment for the both of you. Jay your assignment is to read 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Toni you will read Matthew 6:9-13. In 1 Peter it talks about the husband and wife’s duties in the relationship, and note that passage concludes that your prayers are hindered, sir, if you do not honor your wife. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing, and that’s in Proverbs 18:22. It doesn’t say a man who finds a mistress finds a good thing. Next to God, your wife is your most precious gift. Toni the Lord’s prayer is found in the passage I gave you to study. Pay close attention to verse twelve. It talks about forgiveness. God wants us to learn how to forgive others of their mistakes, as we would want Him to forgive us of our mistakes. We’ll reconvene next time. This marriage can be repaired, but you both have to be willing to forget the other woman and focus on each other.

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