Wives you have competition… What one woman won’t do another woman will, and she will do so gladly. There is a sense of desperation behind a single woman chasing a married man, whether he has children with his spouse or not. So wives, it is best to research your “competitors” and see what they’re doing that you aren’t. I found helpful hints from Sheeri Mitchell which gives some insight from a man’s perspective as to why they fall for the other woman. My relatives advised me to keep my friends close, but my enemies closer, so figure out what makes your husband’s mistress so successful, and find an alternate strategy that works for you to save your relationship (if it’s worth saving). We understand that not every marriage is the same, and what one couple does to improve their relationship may not work for another. Recently, I came across a YouTube video of 12 things a woman should do to keep a man. Not all of these tips will work for you. Even if your marriage or relationship ends, you now have feedback on how to better yourself for your next relationship.
I’ve accidentally run across a song by a popular R & B artist, Avant, called “Lie About Us”. In this song, he and the mistress are talking about their love for each other, and how they cannot wait for the day they’re able to officially let everyone know about their love. Currently, he doesn’t want to leave his wife (girlfriend). Once an opportune time presents itself, he will break his wife’s (or girlfriend’s) heart eventually, then publicly choose his mistress over his wife. He even advised his mistress that she needed to hang in there just a little while longer. Seems simple enough, right? But let’s be honest, how many married men actually leave their stable home, their wife, and their children in order to be in an unsure relationship with the other woman? Are you one of those mistresses who actually believe he’s going to leave?
Personally, I have compassion for those women who degrade their hearts and become desperate enough to take “leftovers” or become “seconds” herself. Strong women don’t wait in the background of another woman to pounce and take her place. Strong women move forward with their own lives, better themselves for their own knight in shining armor, and they don’t settle for someone else’s gifts. He lies to you, to his wife, and to himself because he’s got more to lose financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. His choices affect his entire family. Divorce can be a messy and financially draining process on him, his wife, and his kids if he has any, so he will continue to lie about your relationship to make his life easier. Romance, sex, good conversation, hidden dates are all intriguing, but if you have to be second-string “quartertrick”, when will you get enough backbone of your own to be content while you’re waiting for your own blessing? What God has for you …is for you. What God gave to someone else, is theirs. (Even if he continually contacts you, don’t take that as a sign that “it’s meant to be”. Some men just have poor judgment, are selfish, and don’t want to put too much effort into a relationship.)
Occasionally the mistress gets the guy as we have seen in some celebrity relationships like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt or Alecia Keys and Swiss Beats. Kudos to the extramarital affairs that lasted. He may have chosen you, but whose to say that he won’t do the same thing to you? What goes around…comes back around.
Spiritual Disclaimer: Please understand ladies that God will NOT send you a married man. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing according to the bible in Proverbs 18:22. Since a man’s good thing isn’t defined as a mistress isn’t in that scripture, it is best to pray for your own single, saved man who loves you enough to make you his good thing.