Instructions for men:

Ephesians 5:25, 28  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself…

Instructions for women:

Ephesians 5:22 – 24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body… so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

To love and to submit to your spouse is a choice, not mandatory, however, in so doing, you open the doors to eternal happiness.  You build trust by the things that you DO for your spouse, rather than what you say.  Love is an action verb, just as submission is.  Both are instructions given to men and women in order for the other to show a selfless act of caring for someone else other than themselves. The goal is to create an unbreakable union with your mate so that regardless of the pitfalls of life, you don’t allow the situation to break you apart.

One of you may be better at balancing the budget, one better at cooking, one better at cleaning, one better at training the children, etc.  Rather than assume that the person who is better at a particular task is just going to take care of that task automatically, sit down and actually discuss these roles.  Take out a “chore chart” and write down each task that may be needed to be done to run the household.  From paying bills, to washing dishes, to mowing the lawn, to cooking the meal, to whose going to pick up the kids, or whose going to take them to soccer practice, to what church you will attend, to whose going to disinfect the kitchen and bathroom…  Simple, mundane daily chores to run the house, to take care of each other, and to take care of others can open the door to the communication and trust that a marriage needs to survive.  Do not assume that your husband is automatically the handy man and do not assume that your wife is automatically your chef and maid.

Marriage is much more than 50-50, but rather it is a commitment of 100-100.  If you enter into a marital union giving 50%, and expecting your spouse to provide the other 50% to make you a whole person, then you will become utterly disappointed when they do not live up to your expectations.  Although tedious, time-consuming and somewhat stressful, in the long run giving 100% in a relationship that you chose to be in, will never be in vain.  Disappointments happen and tragedies will occur.  If your spouse cheats on you with another woman or another man, you have 100% reassurance that your then-current broken heart has the propensity to heal.  If your spouse puts his mother’s needs before yours, you have complete validation in yourself as a woman despite your insecure feelings of competing with your mother-in-law.

Marriage is by far the most difficult institution to enter into.  It requires communication, trust, understanding, and honesty.  All of which can be very difficult to achieve if you are not on the same page with your spouse.  In order to make it work, egos, opinions, and selfish ideals have to be set aside so that the two of you can begin to think alike and agree with each other.  But don’t worry you will have help…

Matthew 18:19 – 20 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.  For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

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