Take a moment to reflect on the pain your significant other caused by cheating on you. Ladies it hurts emotionally to a point where your physical and mental health may be at risk. Gentleman, you never thought your ‘boo’ would do that to you, so right now you are devastated and looking for a solution to this pain.
Most men find a new relationship, drown their sorrow in alcohol or drugs, or become players to mask the hurt. While the drugs, alcohol, etc isn’t safe or healthy emotionally, you now begin an unforgiveness cycle with your new mate. She is now faced with false accusations of infidelity based on your fears or she may too end up getting hurt as you decide to play the field to cover up your hurt inside. Ladies the same can go for us as well. We tend to think also at times that another man can heal that broken heart of ours. While that may be true down the line, you have to heal yourself from within first without anyone else’s involvement. No other woman, and no other man can heal your broken heart. It is too much for them to handle because your pain may be too deep to “solve that problem”. You set yourself up for failure if you are looking for love and for that new person to make you feel better. They can help in the healing process, but the work starts with inside of you.
If when you close your eyes each day, and still vividly see your partner’s affair in your mind, if your mind starts to race and you cannot seem to erase that pain, you are not yet over the hurt. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. The major step for you now is forgiving three people: your spouse/significant other, their “partner in crime”, and yourself.
You did not cause the affair even if you contributed to the arguments or the disagreements. Your significant other is an adult, and if they decided to make an unwise decision, that is their consequence to suffer, not yours. Do not beat yourself over the head and allow the affair to control your life. You control what happens from this point on. But pain, healing, love, forgiveness, releasing hurt…all starts with you.
The love of money is the root of all evil according to I Timothy 6:10, and we contend that the love of self is the root of all peace.