Learn to Love the Only One Who Matters: You

Isn’t it awkward when you have a feeling your spouse or significant other is in love with or has feelings for someone else?  Some men thrive off the challenge of conquering a woman who is dating someone else.  There are even women who won’t stop until they get that man from his girlfriend or wife.  It is indeed quite flattering if you are the person being pursued because of the other person’s flirtatious behavior.   Why do you get butterflies and excited when you see or hear from that person?  It’s called change.

What if the person who’s flirting with you is of no threat to your current relationship?  What if you are attracted to an entertainer or someone whom you will never meet?  I found myself quite taken aback by my husband’s jealousy when he discovered I had developed an infatuation with an R&B singer.  We’ll keep the name anonymous for now, however, we continuously have arguments as to why I’ve joined the fan club, why I volunteer to do community service when it relates to that entertainer, or why I have pictures of the entertainer in my cell phone. 

What he thinks is that I have a slight obsession that has gone overboard and now he wants to “end” my relationship with that entertainer.  What he doesn’t know is that because of our difficulties a couple of years ago when he had sex with the other woman, my heart had grown apart from him.  Because I did not believe in adultery or affairs, and wanted my marriage to heal, I found a secure outlet to regain my composure as a woman.  I felt unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated.  I began listening to his music to relax and feel what it was like to connect to a man again.  I gave up on my spouse at one point, and when I had a moment of falling out of love with him, I “took a shine” to an artist.  I wasn’t ready to commit adultery, Nor, did I want to end my marriage.  I was taking a break from “chasing” my husband down and begging him to change.  So I changed myself.  I began listening to the music that made me feel accepted, loved, and appreciated.  I began taking care of myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

While he thinks I’m cheating on him with another man, I call it cheating on my husband with myself.  I cannot truly learn to love my husband or children until I’ve completely learned to love myself.  I have to be spiritually grounded, emotionally stable, and physically capable of pressing on through good and bad times.  Instead of hounding, begging, nagging, and snooping…I found contentment in doing what makes me happy.  You can find contentment too!  Take back your heart, mind, and soul and free yourself from the pain of infidelity.


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