Handling Jealousy in a Relationship

If you are involved romantically with a partner who is jealous, or you are the jealous one, then this article is definitely for you both.  Jealousy has been with us since the beginning of time and there is no indication that it is a fad that will diminish.   If your relationship is otherwise pretty healthy then it may be worth it to you both to learn some of the concepts contained herein, because your problem regarding jealousy can definitely be solved.   Handled does not necessarily mean that it is cured.   Jealousy is a condition of degrees and it is rarely eliminated as a way of dealing with it.   Its causes are deeply seeded and the most that ordinary people can expect – unless they are willing to undergo extremely deep and time-consuming behavioral modification – is to put the jealousy in check and keep it there.

In prior decades, we naturally believed that jealousy was not an emotional disorder, rather that it was an expression of extreme insecurity and we left it go at that.   Now, since recent advancements in the last several decades, we understand that jealousy – especially in severe cases – is much more complex and requires specific treatments not unlike other forms of emotional disorder.  Jealousy is now nearing classification as a full-fledged emotional and medical disorder and there are even studies aimed at pharmacological solutions to this disorder.  So, there is no real getting over it – again in the context of a cure – but just living with the disorder without allowing it to rule or destroy an otherwise good relationship.

If the jealous one in your relationship is reassured by the other partner that the attention paid by them by or to other people or outside activities is not going to ever take them out of the picture, this will often be sufficient to enable the couple to live with it.  If, on the other hand, this level of assurance is insufficient, or the partner cannot or will not provide such assurance, then professional assistance is typically required.

There are books and tapes on this subject and much has been written in the last several decades about this disorder.  Many times neither party in the relationship has a real grasp of exactly what we are dealing with here, so just becoming aware of the reality of the subject of Jealousy is enough.   If awareness by both parties in the relationship is not sufficient to deal with the issue then you probably need to get a therapist involved.

If you are trying to get ex back from a jealous relationship, or if you are trying to win your ex back from disaster because of jealousy you may find that this concept may be key.  Regardless, you may find that trying to get your ex back might be easier now that you know the secrets of dealing with jealousy.


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