1. Own up to your mistakes.
  2. Own up to the bad choices that you’ve made.
  3. Own up to the selfish need to be right.
  4. Own up to the fear of being alone.
  5. Own up to the fear of rejection.
  6. Own up to the fact that you love him, but he doesn’t love you.
  7. Own up to the misconception that you can change him.
  8. Own up to the fact you chose a mate over your child(ren).
  9. Own up to the fact that you put God last to do your own will.
  10. Own up to the fact that you blame everyone else, but yourself.

Owning up to any hard truth about yourself is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  Understand the difference between right and wrong.  Common sense isn’t common because if it were everyone would have it.  Know your limits.  Know your own boundaries.  Know what is wrong choice and what is the right choice to make for yourself, your children, for your family, and even for your closest friends.  Own up to the mistakes you’ve made and learn to forgive yourself for those mistakes.  Move forward.  Don’t look back at what has already passed.  Look forward to a brighter future, and own your present situations.  Stand firm in God that He has given you a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind to make the right choices for your life and those affected by your life.


It’s innocent and pure.  Never tainted.  It’s not sex or the happy feeling after you have sex.  But what if that love you have for your mate could be redirected for a better desire to please them?  You may not be one of those people who enjoy public displays of affection.  I know some people who gag on watching other couples hug, kiss, or hold hands.  That occurs when you’re hiding from love.  Then again, that’s my personal opinion.  One thing for sure is that those who are completely in love, hold no limits on showing affection.  To them, anything goes.  Anytime.  Anyplace.

Don’t worry if you’ve become that kind of person who just dislikes showing affection.  Something emotional is going on with you, so don’t feel bad.  Your spouse/mate could have cheated, lied, or broken your heart several times so you have no emotional “juice” left in you to drink from the cup of love.  It’s okay.  What do you do?  Don’t knock someone else’s hustle, that’s for sure.  Just because YOU aren’t feeling the love, doesn’t mean someone else isn’t.  We all go through emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and financial issues at different times in our lives.  I think personally, God did this for a reason.  Why?  To get you to interact with others who have been in your present situation.  You may not be able to financially pay off someone else’s debt or fix their marriage, but if you’ve dealt with any issues that friends, family, or even strangers are going through, you may be their inspiration to OVERCOME.  We all have good and bad days.  For a reason.  Never kick someone when they’re down because that once was you.  Your job whether you interviewed for it or not, is to help someone when they are in need.

I usually did not like to see posts, blogs, statements about perfect relationships, weddings, or “good men”.  I thought that was icky.  Then I realized, I was unhappy in my own marriage, so who was I to speak negative about someone else’s happiness.  That’s not going to change my situation.  But what will change me is how I view and how I speak about my situation.  It isn’t perfect.  Instead of lying to myself that I’m happy when I’m not, I took a leap of faith and discussed my unhappiness with my spouse.  I faced my fear and dealt with my own issue head on.  I can’t say the same for you as to whether that will help.  Who knows whether tomorrow you’ll be feeling those butterflies in your stomach or that your heart will skip a beat when you think about your love.  One thing to know for sure is that when your heart is free of fear, you can make clearer decisions.  Free your heart.  Free your mind.  Face your fear.  Love… with all your heart, mind, and soul, but you won’t know how to love someone else until you learn to love yourself.

Sex is not love, but rather, it is a mere display of love.  You show your mate how much you enjoy them and what you’d like to do in order to please them.  After all, sexual gratification can keep you closer, but it isn’t the key to true love.  The key to true love begins with knowing how to please them emotionally as well as intimately.