Dealing With It

I don’t know about you, but I hate listening to people who have unsuccessful relationships or those who are single provide advice on how to behave in a relationship or how to make things better. How can I listen to you about what to do, when obviously the advice didn’t work for you? Why am I doing something in my relationship that you did…that caused your relationship to fail as well?
It’s a no win situation when you are venting to your friends or family members about the issues going on in your relationship and they advise you to do the opposite of what your heart tells you to do. You’ve got to question certain things. Every relationship is different and what works for some doesn’t work for others. Besides, why are you listening to a bitter woman tell you not to cook, not to clean, not to pamper and not to cater to your husband…when that is the reason her spouse left her? Why would you listen to your homeboy tell you not to caress, not to love, not to show any interest in your wife’s opinion when that is the reason she divorced him and found someone who did do those things?
Ultimately the responsibility of your relationship is going to be left up to the two or more people involved in your relationship–your mate, you, and your kids, if you have any together.
While family and friends can offer friendly and spiritual suggestions on making things better, don’t rely solely on their advice as what you can, cannot, should, should not do for your own relationship.
The toughest part in any decision is getting to the hard part. That hard part, known as a flinch reaction, is what you have to overcome to make a decision in this relationship…good, bad, or ugly. Here’s a helpful free e-book novel The Flinch by Julien Smith (
to encourage you make your “flinch” decision-making throughout your relationship. It doesn’t tell you what to do in a relationship, but it provides helpful techniques for you to learn to overcome the tough decisions that you’ve been avoiding. Sometimes the safe decisions cause you to avoid the real issues you have with your mate.

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