Jonni started walking back toward the booth where she and Toni were seated. Charles grabbed her by the waist, pulled her to the side of the bar where no one could see them, and slowly kissed the nape of her neck. Her spot. She only had three and this was the man who discovered that spot on her neck. He knew how to hit all three at the same time. Jonni trembled. She still had no feelings for this man. She only stayed around him because she was trying to get over other lost loves. She was trying to convince herself to do what men have been doing for centuries— move on.
“Charles, I’m here with my girlfriends tonight. No men allowed in my world right now.”
“I’ll stop by when ladies night is over.” He whispered, “I want to be in your world tonight. Right now if you allow it.”
If only true love whispered words like that. So soft. So sweet. So meaningless when it was a man she didn’t truly like, let alone love. She allowed too many negative things in her life too often. How dare he think that it was that easy to just say ‘sorry’ and walk right back into her life? He wasn’t sorry about hurting and disappointing her. He was sorry he got caught in his web of lies and his web wove a tangled mess.
Jonni walked on. Drama doesn’t live here anymore. She smiled at her friend, Toni, who’d found a booth and was bobbing her head to Angie Stone. Nubian soul. Jonni never knew Toni dug this kind of music. Thought she was only into gospel and Brian McKnight. Romance and Jesus. Jonni smiled back at her long time friend. Glad to walk away from her past mistake.
That night at that moment she confessed to everyone. She confessed to the people who were the most important. To her mother—deceased, but she was still in her heart. To her children—boy and girl who were both different as night and day, but they were her heart. When they hurt, she felt the pain inside. To herself—she was worth more than the jerks who came in and out of her life as Toni said. It was going to hurt to wait for God to bring her the mate she’d prayed for since she was a child. Lacking a good father figure can cause a woman to sometimes take anything that drops out the litter basket. Jonni never got the pick of that litter. To God—if she truly loved Him, she’d please Him. Just like any relationship it would take time to elevate to that point. She was going to learn how to make God her heavenly soul mate even when he blessed her with an earthly soul mate. Time to get rid of all the baggage that she’d left outside her front door. Best way to tackle her only fear was to attack it head on. Her worst fear was being alone for all eternity. Time to embrace her fear…
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