Editors Note: Guest author clearly believes that infidelity can be prevented if there is more understanding of the issues of compatibility. Particularly, the author describes how a woman can benefit from understanding where a (stereotypical) man is “coming from” before getting involved with him.
So what are they actually looking for, and because he won’t tell you himself, how are you expected to know this? Ought you call him, or wait for him to call you? It is such a minefield out there it may be difficult to know for sure. If you are in this for the long haul what things should you know?
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• HE WANTS YOU TO BE ON HIS LEVEL: It’s not just a saying, being someone’s other half should also be about being their best friend. He most likely won’t say this, but he is searching for a friend as much as a girlfriend.
• HE WANTS SOMEONE WHO REMAINS CALM WHEN HE’S UPSET: When things are getting fraught between you, try being the one who steps back a pace from the fight. Knowing how to diffuse situations is a canny skill many don’t have. You don’t have to put up with needless abuse, naturally, but it is more of a give and take thing.
• HE WANTS TO BE HIMSELF: People do not take kindly to being treated as “work in progress” cases. You have decided to get with your man in spite of his faults, not because you think you can change them all. If you are really not going to get used to life with the guy, warts and all, it is time to question what you really want.
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• HE WANTS YOU TO BE YOURSELF TOO!: On the other hand, you don’t want to let somebody tell you how to live your life either. If a man wants to control your every detail it is time to watch out.. Doing everything another person wants can be bad for your sense of self. Carry on doing the things that you want to do in life, men like a woman who is independent.
• HE WANTS TO FEEL APPRECIATED: No-one wants to be mere background. Make sure you still make time for each other and do the things together that first drew you together. Surprise him from time to time!
• HE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT YOU: Minor differences aside, being a couple is really about being there for each other, and that means doing everything you can to help him when it is needed most.
• HE NEEDS YOUR BELIEF IN HIM: He needs you to trust him, whether it is on a business trip or on a boys night with friends. He is going to be exposed to temptation – but he has chosen to be with you, so respect him enough to let him do his own thing.
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