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feature has been a member since August 4th 2010, and has created 10 posts from scratch.

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Spying on a Cheating Spouse: A Good Idea?

If you think that your wife or your husband is cheating on you, no doubt you want find out if it is true. This may lead you to take a step that you may have avoided and thought you would never take — you may decide to spy on your spouse. If s/he is cheating, catching him/her in the act leaves no doubt in anyone’s mind as to what is going on. If you are going to take the “spy on your spouse” route, you need to be aware of possible pitfalls.

Spying on anyone, including a suspected cheating spouse, is a time-consuming endeavor. Unless you’ve been through this with your partner more than once, you might not be able to discern a pattern. While you might assume your spouse is getting-busy with another person regularly, it may be far less frequent than you realize, making it difficult to detect. In such a case, it could take many months to achieve any sort of breakthrough.

People are often frustrated by anything that drags on for extended periods without success. The natural result of lack of success is a decline in diligence. The same day you decide to take a vacation from your spying may turn out to be the very day your spouse will engage in the nastiest, most illicit and disgusting sexual encounter you could imagine. If you are unable to withstand the schedule of trying to catch your spouse in the act, the alternative would be the expensive option of hiring a private investigator to handle the task.

As illustrated above, spying on a cheating spouse is necessarily Read More…

Arguing and Fighting With Your Spouse Won’t Save Your Marriage

As difficult as they may be, arguments naturally occur in every relationship. Frequently, the unresolved disagreements and the associated resentment between couples can end a relationship. Of course, you and your partner will not always agree; however, it is paramount that the two of you learn to solve disagreements and avoid arguing and fighting about them.

When you have been engaged in an argument, don’t let too much time pass before discussing your disagreements. You need to resolve the problem quickly to prevent the problem from getting bigger and perhaps causing another fight. While you cannot completely avoid disagreements, you can control the way you talk to each other. You have to avoid arguing and yelling. Arguments typically result in communication breakdowns, and this can eventually lead to irreparable problems for any relationship. Try keeping an open mind during communicating about disagreements or anything else. Here are a few tips that will help avoid arguing with your spouse, while pursuing a useful discussion.

First of all, do not assume the defensive position within the discussion. Read More…

Chatting, Sexting and Cyber-Cheating Examples

When is Cybersex Cheating?

Technology is changing the ways affairs are started and conducted. Moreover, it’s no longer quite so easy to define what an affair is. Many people feel that online sexual liaisons don’t constitute infidelity because there’s no physical contact involved. However, others see it a little differently.

While the internet provides opportunities that rarely present themselves in the real world, the reasons people cheat online are the same reasons they cheat in the real world. Lack of excitement in their current relationship, feeling neglected by their partner, or wanting to experiment in the bedroom are a few of the reasons people stray. And the ubiquity of the internet has given these people countless opportunities to cheat. Not only that, but the anonymity provided by this form of communication means that they can now feel fairly confident they won’t get caught doing so.

In order to determine whether cybersex is cheating, it’s necessary Read More…

Adultery in Film (New Poll)

Alex Forrest was mentally unbalanced, Peter Florrick had a fetish for 20-y.o. girls’ feet, and George Peters cheated on his wife for 26 years.

Which actor played the most despicable adulterer/adulteress on film/TV in the past 50 years?

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Please rate and/or comment on this poll. Thank you for your response(s).

Emotional Blackmail in Relationships

Putting an End to Emotional Blackmail

Emotional blackmail is a prevalent problem in romantic relationships, but that does not make it acceptable. Emotional blackmail is actually a form of abuse. It is characterized by one individual controlling and exploiting another in order to get the outcome they want. Emotional blackmailers threaten their victim in numerous ways. They may threaten to make things difficult, or imply that they’ll end the relationship if their romantic partner does not comply with their wishes. They might threaten to hurt themselves, or use the financial security they provide to manipulate their victim. In other words, emotional blackmailers threaten to make their partner suffer in some way unless things go their way.  If you are being emotionally blackmailed, there are ways of stopping the cycle without ending the relationship.

The Blackmailer
The first step involved in stopping emotional blackmail is to recognize the blackmailer for what they are. People who emotionally blackmail others are basically very frightened and insecure individuals. They are afraid of their romantic partner’s ability to hurt or desert them. They attempt to ensure that this will not happen by controlling all aspects of the relationship and their partner’s behavior.  The emotional blackmailer will use any tactic to get what they want in the relationship. They do not care if what they do is reasonable or not, provided the final outcome is the one they want. The emotional state and desires of the victim are overlooked by the blackmailer. An emotional blackmailer finds the susceptibilities in their romantic partner. After identifying those vulnerabilities, they will use them as tools of manipulation.

The Victim
Emotional blackmail takes two people, not one. It cannot happen unless the victim behaves and thinks in a certain way. If you can recognize and change those thoughts and behaviors, it is easier to stop the cycle of emotional blackmail. This will remove the blackmailer’s power over you.  Individuals who are likely to be subjected to emotional blackmail often dislike conflict. They will strive to keep the peace, even if it means sacrificing their own feelings and desires. The victim is often intimidated by their partner’s temper. What’s more, they want their partner to praise and admire them.  Victims of emotional blackmail often second guess themselves. They are perfectionists who disapprove of their own flaws. An emotional blackmail victim is also likely to feel responsible for other people’s feelings.

Stopping the Cycle Read More…